As I have stated before, the closer one comes to realisation of pure nondual meaning at the "higher" level of personality, the more one becomes directly exposed to purely instinctive experience at the corresponding "lower" level.
So what is pure and spiritual at the "high", is complemented by what is merely instinctive and physical at the "low" level.
Therefore my own experience at this time was to dramatically reveal this continuing tension as between the "higher" spiritual and "lower" physical regions of personality.
In basic terms, approaching pure nondual spiritual reality entails the full reconciliation of both conscious and unconscious aspects of behaviour, where one no longer focuses on each as separate, but rather on the simultaneous recognition of both in experience.
In striking contrast, approaching pure instinctive physical reality entails the involuntary confusion of both conscious and unconscious where behavioural reaction is so immediate that again neither can be properly separated in experience.
So once again, primitive instinctive behaviour entails the direct confusion of conscious and unconscious aspects of personality.
Now, as a human being, one can never hope to completely unravel the blind nature of physical instinctive desire. And because physical and spiritual are ultimately fully complementary, this likewise entails that the pure attainment on a permanent basis of nondual spiritual reality is likewise not humanly possible.
However, it certainly is feasible to considerably refine the nature of instinctive behaviour, thereby enabling it to be ever more successfully accommodated with pure spiritual desire.
Thus I always emphasise the dynamic interactive nature of experience where attainment of goals is necessarily of an approximate relative nature.
From another equally valid perspective, primitive instinctive behaviour represents the direct confusion of both pre and trans (or alternatively immanent and transcendent directions) in experience.
Therefore the mature reconciliation of pre and trans with respect to both the transcendent and immanent directions of spirituality (which again are dynamically complementary) is always with reference to their inherent confused nature.
Thus once again, we can never hope as human beings to be totally rid of involuntary physical instincts. However these can indeed become considerably refined, so as to become ever more compatible with a growing nondual spiritual awareness.
I have likened my own spiritual journey before to a mountain climb such as Mount Everest.
This third contemplative level now represented as it were the final assault on the spiritual summit, where the emphasis - though somewhat modified during the previous level - was still mainly on the transcendent direction.
Therefore in my own case a very marked split now became evident as between the "higher" spiritual self (still overly defined with "male" cognitive faculties) and the "lower" physical instinctive self (still in many ways viewed in inferior terms).
So the challenge was to sufficiently address this "lower" self, which again required a deeper acknowledgement of a hidden feminine identity, so as to complete the spiritual ascent safely.
In the process, this opened up an even more refined holistic intellectual appreciation of the true nature of reality (in cognitive terms) while equally requiring an ever more intimate exposure to involuntary physical impulses (at an affective level).