As the 90's slowly unfolded, I realised that I was becoming subject to a persistent form of stress that was directly related to the nature of personal development that was now unfolding.
Though to some extent a correcting immanent balance had been introduced, the transcendent direction was still very much dominant. And the continual attempt to deal with any form of undue attachment - which my continued contemplative development required - of either a "real" (conscious) or "imaginary" (indirect conscious) nature was leading to considerable strain.
It seemed, that through the desire for an ever purer spiritual experience, I was now required to stifle ever ounce of self expression. First this had related mainly to the intellectual, then later to the emotional and now finally directly to the volitional aspect of personality.
So in my own personal quest to attain the summit of spiritual Mount Everest, the physical body was becoming increasingly sensitive to the continual psychological strain being place on it, which from the conventional ego point of view was quite unnatural.
So even before this latest phase (Level 3) reached its peak, I was already looking for some acceptable means, by which I could allow myself once again communicate with the world and share the many insights that I had developed on the journey. For deep down, I had never lost the conviction that in my holistic mathematical approach, which had unfolded in an entirely original manner, I had truly discovered a pearl of great price that required to be shared with the world.
However the frustrating fact was that the contemplative journey, had so far required that I continually detach myself from any ego involvement associated with this discovery.
And as the unwinding of one layer of attachment always led to a deeper - as yet unrecognised - layer, it often seemed that this situation would last indefinitely whereby I could never hope to share with anyone, the riches with which I had been entrusted.
Then with the rapid development of personal computing and the growth of the Internet, my perspective slowly started to change, as I could see a new world opening up that was perhaps inherently suited to my purposes.
Though I had been lecturing in an educational institution for nearly all my working life, I never identified with an academic ethos, which I always found unduly restrictive and elitist.
Also in relation to my own research, I could see little value in the accepted process of peer review as the requisite means of accepting material for publication. By its very nature, if work is truly original, then the academic peer group for its proper assessment is highly unlikely to exist. In fact this system of peer group review works best for the assessment of marginal progress within a broadly accepted existing paradigm!
However when one's basic position is that the accepted paradigm i.e. Conventional Mathematics itself is quite inadequate to assess a whole new range of discoveries, then there is no hope for the acceptance of such views through the peer review process.
Put again in more general terms, the existing peer group approach is properly suited for the assessment of marginal progress in analytic terms within increasingly specialised scientific disciplines. However it is entirely unsuited as it stands for the assessment of original progress in holistic terms (applying to a wide range of disciplines).
And in the quest for increasing integration in society it is progress in such holistic terms that is now urgently required!
Fortunately however, through the growing influence of the Internet, I could see that this situation would gradually change. So instead of seeking the narrowly defined academic approval of a highly specialised peer group, one can now directly seek to publish one's ideas on the Internet.
So one's peer group in this sense is likely to consist of a much more varied group of those who, perhaps already thinking along the same lines, are therefore far more likely to properly resonate with one's views.
Of course we still have the considerable problem of distinguishing truly enduring ideas from their many crackpot counterparts!
But in time, I can see a new appropriate peer group - not directly identified with academic institutions - of respected like minded pioneers who will gradually decide what is of true value.
Just like the task of picking out successful new businesses, this task will always be imperfect with many mistakes arising.
However the present academic system - with disciplines increasingly defined within narrower specialised areas - is far too conservative and entirely unsuited for the promotion of holistic, as opposed to analytic type developments.
Thus once I had sufficiently mastered the new computer technology with its word processing, e-mail and website facilities, I decided to put some of my ideas in order in the form of the two books "Transforming Voyage"and "The Number Paradigms".